salam alayk

i often found myself hard to laugh and hard to cry as well. when people could laugh for a mere thing, i only managed to smile as if i was entertained by it, in fact i didn't. and i'm not a person who could cry easily for trivial thing as well. however, i often cried when farewell comes. especially with close people.

aina's farewell was still floating in my mind vividly. it was as if she was leaving manipal yesterday although it's been a year since then. when she got those problems, it was tough for her. and it was hard for me as well. being the one closest to her put me in a big responsibility to take care of her, brought her to see mentor, to meet doctor, to eat with her, to sleep with her, send her to meet someone while i'm late for school and sometimes, i need to skip my class. it was hard.

maybe waktu tuh, Allah nak uji sejauh mana persahabatan tuh kerana Allah. aina was having depression during that time. and it was super chronic till she became suspicious to everyone including me. so, things became harder then. she thought everyone thinking she is a bad person and everyone was laughing at her, blablabla. if you think this is just a mere problem, then don't. because, although she was with me all the time, she always found it was hard to trust me, her closest friend though every time she felt guilty for being like that.

memang waktu tuh susah sangat nak convince dekat aina to trust Allah even she afraid to trust humans. but, from my side, i always gave her advice to do this and that, but talking seem to be easy for me, the one who need to do all those things was her! so, all choice and changes depend on her. and she was yet, clueless to decide. memang pening kepala.

things happened in 2 weeks, yet so fast! she was admitted to hospital, her family came twice to india, and she went back to malaysia to get treatment and got back to manipal.

and the comeback was just to take few things before she went back for good. she continuing her study in malaysia. Allah..

waktu tuh memang rasa sangat sedih yang melampau. until now, i can still reminisce her car gone from my sight and i cried at anis's shoulder. it was tough for me, and after all that we encountered, Allah had plan it this way. Allah.

i cried few days and always texted her mom about her progress. i don't know whom i should be friend with, who will eat with me, who will share all her laugh with me and secrets, etc.

and up until now, i still miss her badly. alhamdulillah, she is doing good in malaysia. insyaAllah, that is the best for her. and insyaAllah this is also the best for me.

Fighting has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.

the reason why i write this post is because hazim's farewell remind me so much of aina's. and may Allah had plan what's the best for us, insyaAllah.

all the best hazim for your future undertakings! and to aina, i miss u badly. ;)

while on the road to jaipur. aina dan peace.

hazim dan peace.

doakan yang terbaik untuk mereka dan kita semua. moga Allah berkati. :)