salam alaykum.

it's been a while since my last post. and i will not apologise to the readers, yet i'm trying to be sorry for myself who unable to manage time properly. :(

i had so much to write but now, im in the midst of block exam. nevertheless, there's one thing i wanna make clear about people out there. i wanna voice out my voice. my pebble voice. at least, im trying. trying to be a good malaysian, insyaAllah.

my father is a strong supporter of pas. i grew up by following my father and mum to ceramah pas and what i did was that, eating kacang kuda and main kejar2. biasalah, budak2. during that time, i still didnt know why the heck my father always want to go there. even when there's something important happened, he always prioritize the ceramah or muktamar or etc. i hate that, but then, i started to understand. i think, i think the reason why my dad enter pas was that he saw bad things in the gov party, not because he was into islam thingy. and it is for the same reason why some chinese and indians chose pas.

then, i entered boarding school from form 1 until form 5. and it's been long time since my last ceramah until i was invited (not actually, it was just a study trip) to mitc, melaka for launching some event. it was during form 4. i was in mrsm tgb. ali rustam came and gave speech for the general election during that time, 2008. in other words, he was giving ucapan perasmian campur manifesto. and as a student, i just silently heard what he said and around 70% of his speech was about kelantan. minority was bout melaka. and i was just an observant that time, and started to know the political situation in malaysia.

then, after spm, i stayed in home for 6 months. and my dad still doing his job. our house was always full with pas tshirt, pas flag, pas nametag, etc. sometimes, i wanna laugh because my dad was very obsessed with the party. during that period, my parents still went to ceramah and my mum always asked me to accompany her cause my dad will meet his friends there, so my mum will be alone. so, why not? i went. so, up until now, there were countless ceramah i've been went to.

truthfully speaking, im still unable to think properly cause during that time, is still bored with all the ceramah especially pas. ceramah pas memang tak best. but then. during kms time, suddenly i became interested to hear what the politician wanna said. and i lend my ear.

i still remember when i came to ceramah pas in johol, kuala pilah, the ketua muslimah pas n9 greeted me and my mum. she's very friendly and of course, very kind. i could say, memang nampak muslimah la. mat sabu will come around 5 pm, after asar. so, the muslimin pg solat asar dulu dekat atas stage sebab kat bawah rumput. then, mat sabu came and i heard him. he told numerous things. the country's debt, how the opposites managed penang, kedah and selangor, what's wrong with kerajaan, what the opposites will offer, etc..

then, i went to dsai's ceramah in seremban. honestly, memang rasa aura dia sangat2. not only the malays came, tapi chinese and indians were also there. and memang betul, dia memang pandai cakap. really influential. i was awake until the end of the ceramah. but, truthfully speaking, the way he talk memang ada beza dengan normal politician. he's one of a kind, just like mahathir.

nowadays, politician or people who talked bout politics always try to talk bout the bad things. what sin the politician did, what crime he made, such. up until they were blinded with the deed that the politician had done. i always respect tun mahathir for what he had done for msia. his achievements were vast, too much to be said here. sepang, klcc, klia, etc. the same thing for dsai. fardhu ain, pafa, muslims students need to wear tudung, etc.. najib pun. kedai 1 malaysia, brim, felda thingy and much more. as a malaysian, im truly proud of them. but then, seeing them trying to push each other away was quite dissapointing. i wish mahathir could give his best again. but seeing his post in his blog was quite dissapointing. i may be bias, but as an observant, im seeing his post as hasutan. sorry, no offence. it is true that he was trying to voice out his worry, but i think there should be another better way, but i myself didnt know.


dsai too. when i heard his talk, he always said that he is the one who gonna be PM. and i said to my friend bout this. and my friend said, "ada org tu beria-ria nak jadi pm.". and i think. betul juga kan. sometimes, im quite doubtful with the oppositers whether they can bring msia to a better place or not.  at times, they seemed to be seen weak. and the gov seemed to be strong. yeah, it's true but their intention was big, and for another side, it was too.

isa samad had once ruled my state. and it was disaster. banyak bangunan terbengkalai. jalan teruk. and after him, came the next n9 minister, mohamad hassan. he is good. very good. and i had also heard him speaking. it was really good. both are bn's. what i wanna say was that, choose the best leader. if i were the people in rantau, port dickson, i would choose mohamad hassan. if i were at the permatang pauh, i would choose dsai. dont just because of a certain ruined politician in a party, we were blinded from voting someone who's better in the same party. vice versa in the opposites too.

i can see why the malays are quite worry bout their bumiputra status if they choose opposites. and i myself, is a mara sponsored student. thus, i also worry. but then, i still didnt know why my heart said why not? just try. just see what will happen. sometimes, we never know what is the best for us, dont we?

i cant vote right now, coz im not 21 yet. but, to vote is a hard job. although im trying to be neutral on both sides, i myself didnt know why my heart prone to the opposites. sometimes, we need to try to know what it feels like rather than not trying and keep safe in comfort zone. i always think that msia should deserve better. this situation is still not the best. dont just sit and watch, do something.

change is a constant thing.    

and try to choose the best for now. and let Allah decide for future. dont think too much. too much logic will ruin what your heart wanna say.

may Allah bless all of us and may He gives what the best for malaysia then. :)

p/s: my writings may be seemed immature and do correct me. im learning. and sorry for such a boring post.