future is very uncertain. but Allah is certain.
3:33 PM
but things will not always fine all the time. it was during IRP when the lecturer announced that my IA (internal assessment) will be sent to IBO for moderation. i felt scared, uncertain, doubted. the feelings were mixed, and i'm not sure whether to be grateful or not.
for the past months, i did have countless problems with my IA. the root for them is my undisciplined time management. and i keep complaining why i must take business, when my future major will be dentistry? of course, there are no answers i could find.
few hours later, Zaini told my name again been selected for Mathematics IA moderation, which will be also sent to IBO. my eyes seemed hot and wet. why must me?! again, while doing ia maths, i can say that i took almost 2 months to complete it while other people took about a month. how is that?
so, the conclusion, my name was called for moderation of both intriguing and heart-broken subjects. -.-"
building up our confidence towards what Allah had planned for us is very hard. difficult. needs blood and tears. unending motivation. friends. trust and other things. while doing those IAs, i even cause the relationships with my lecturers to become poor and yes, internal conflict kinda. again, now, i must face them again.
there were times when i kept asking why Allah planned this for me? there were persons who their name was not been selected even for a subject. seeing from that side, it is really unfair. super unfair.
that was what iman called. for us to believe to Allah that He will never put us in a difficulty. there are reasons for it. have faith on Him that He will take care of you.
now, i really doubted myself. if my IA will be checked by IBO, what if it contain plagiarism? then, i will not get diploma although i get good points. if i did not get diploma, where i will end up at?
seriously, i really want to believe in Allah. in His faith. in His planning.
Allah, i trust you. :)
0 comments