salam alayk.

class had been held for almost a week since the start of year 2. alhamdulillah, it was ok. too bad i always got some back pain since i was sitting on the dental chair for almost 3 hours, doing caries thingy. yeah, that's the future of my career. :)

my cake business is indeed, very good at first. it received many positive responses, alhamdulillah. so far, i got 5 orders confirmed for this week. i don't want to go rushing in my first few steps, worrying that i'm not be able to cope with it so, i decided to make maximum of 2 cakes per day. i dont want it to be a burden for me. it supposed to be my passion, not my burden, right? so, do pray for me. pray that i will be able to do things i want purely, not the things i was ordered to do for.

just now, a customer named Heerak came and took the cake. i was really glad that he was amazed with the beauty of cake. i hope, it turned out delicious, insyaAllah. so, this was the one i did just now.

heerak's cake

why i bake?

because i love cake! :) and i want people to love it too. and i always want to make the best cake, so that people couldn't resist it at all and like it. whenever things turned out ugly, it was always disappointing to see my cake went into dustbin and no one enjoyed it. of course, there were countless of times when i hurt my finger touching hot caramel, cake turned into plastic thing, and such.how i was always motivated to keep continue? because it's my passion.

how beautiful could it be if islam is my passion. how amazed i would be if i can all out in giving dakwah? it's been years since my first tarbiyah and now, i'm still wondering why i just love this path, why i dont want to go through it? why is it so hard for me to just go and spread dakwah like the sahabat and my akhawats. why is it so hard? why i think it is hard? why i'm still reluctant?

i still remember there was an ukhti of mine, wani shared this quote with me;

"the mankind should just die, if they didnt want to do their job; which is khalifah and ibadah."

why not? the only reasons they are alive in this world was just to be His servant and do what He asked us to do. when i went through my wall in facebook, i saw many posts about islam. one of them was about our muslims brothers and sisters in arab, be it in egypt, palestin, syria, turkey and many more. one thing that came across my mind was that, owh, the time had come. it's our time to fight for islam, for Allah. akhir zaman tak lama lagi.

i'm scared of course. i'm trilled too. and i also wanna be a part of islam too. apart of its fighter. for the cause of Allah. who doesnt want syaheed? who doesnt want to go into Allah's paradise? is there any? i believe no.

but why i became like this.

becase i think islam as my only religion, not as deen. that's why i felt it interrupted my lifestyle, and i felt burdened. because i only think it such a mere religion, same as some of my chinese and indian friends. :(

i wanna change the mindset. i know i must. but the courage needs whole lot of effort. still, i know i have my akhawats behind me, and the most important, Allah. :)

and i always wondering, how amazed Allah's fate is; to let me write this post and suddenly, flattered my heart into it in the middle of futur. :)

sunset from my crib

Alhamdulillah.