of me!
3:36 PM
salam alayk
i'm just finishing the phase of tiredness. tired of countless exams, undone practicals, struggling to keep my momentum up after block 3 exams, cake orders, usrah, bedah buku, handling dessert part of liqa mahabbah, etc. penat penat penat.
but every time i felt weak, exhausted, there will always be some whispers in my heart telling me to keep on moving, do your best for Allah sake, and keep pushing. push yourselves to the limit. up until now, i really have no idea on how i still survived year 2 dentistry besides being the abid and khalifah. alhamdulillah, all efforts came from Him as it always be.
2 more months left in India and somehow, i tried to reflect myself on what i had achieved. am i being someone better from her yesterday or vice versa? was 2 years is enough or i need more? hopefully not, insyaAllah. sometimes, it felt like malaysia is calling me back. how i miss malaysia so much. ;)
after having usrah wida last february, i'm now having a new usrah which we call ourselves rijal muttaqin which means pemuda yang bertaqwa. this usrah is kinda different from i had previously. the mutabaah amal is kinda burdensome. not burdensome, it's just that i felt some difficulty in completing the task. and that is what we called nowadays as mujahadah.
my murabbi keeps telling me to always feel Allah in everything we do. see Allah behind the walls, the results, practical, the sky and many more. she really like to ask "what do you feel today?" hoping that we could feel Allah somewhere deep down in our heart. and it ain't easy man!
realising that i'm one step ahead in my dnt is really hard. i am now at a stage in which i don't know what to be corrected inside myself and i don't know how to get further. and it is a very slow phase. i'm now struggling for berlapang dada with my friends, especially close friends yet it is just serendah rendah ukhuwah. :( and i'm struggling for my mutabaah amal. my clothes is alhamdulillah, covering aurah and it is just that i don't know how to get further and become better.
but, somehow when i tried to reflect myself today, i found nothing but the better me! Alhamdulillah. the one who always be confident with her strength, the one who loves to try new things without fear, the one who try to accept people as the way they are, the one who always try to do her best and push herself to the limits, the one who try to be patient whenever bad day happens, the one who try to cherish her friends in her own way, the one who always reflect back the day she had, and the most importantly, the one who always try to put her outmost faith in Allah. who try to believe with her whole heart. but, of course, there were times when things mentioned above was shattered into pieces and it really takes enormous iman for Allah to make it right back.
mtf results for block 3 exam just came out and i realised that my marks was still low, although it is still on par. i reflected my efforts and realised how much efforts i've been doing lately. like, how i've been pushing myself and tried my best. but still, the results is still same. and i felt nothing, but helpless. and these times, we will realise that there is much a high power above us controlling us and nothing can stop it. and He is Allah. the one who controls everything, the earth and the sky. and that is what i'm trying to believe. try to believe in His Plan, try to redha dengan segalanya. and when we try that, everything will be resorted like no predicaments happen. :)
honestly, i really have no idea what i am talking about, but this is what my heart feels right now. in the midst of thinking that everything is ok and i have no idea what should i do next; i try to see the ummah. and i realised that i have sooooo many things to do and my time is so short. Allah.
may Allah bless us with everything we do, and may we see Allah in the things that we do. after all, we just want to satisfy Him, not us, not them.
insyaAllah.
i'm just finishing the phase of tiredness. tired of countless exams, undone practicals, struggling to keep my momentum up after block 3 exams, cake orders, usrah, bedah buku, handling dessert part of liqa mahabbah, etc. penat penat penat.
but every time i felt weak, exhausted, there will always be some whispers in my heart telling me to keep on moving, do your best for Allah sake, and keep pushing. push yourselves to the limit. up until now, i really have no idea on how i still survived year 2 dentistry besides being the abid and khalifah. alhamdulillah, all efforts came from Him as it always be.
2 more months left in India and somehow, i tried to reflect myself on what i had achieved. am i being someone better from her yesterday or vice versa? was 2 years is enough or i need more? hopefully not, insyaAllah. sometimes, it felt like malaysia is calling me back. how i miss malaysia so much. ;)
after having usrah wida last february, i'm now having a new usrah which we call ourselves rijal muttaqin which means pemuda yang bertaqwa. this usrah is kinda different from i had previously. the mutabaah amal is kinda burdensome. not burdensome, it's just that i felt some difficulty in completing the task. and that is what we called nowadays as mujahadah.
my murabbi keeps telling me to always feel Allah in everything we do. see Allah behind the walls, the results, practical, the sky and many more. she really like to ask "what do you feel today?" hoping that we could feel Allah somewhere deep down in our heart. and it ain't easy man!
realising that i'm one step ahead in my dnt is really hard. i am now at a stage in which i don't know what to be corrected inside myself and i don't know how to get further. and it is a very slow phase. i'm now struggling for berlapang dada with my friends, especially close friends yet it is just serendah rendah ukhuwah. :( and i'm struggling for my mutabaah amal. my clothes is alhamdulillah, covering aurah and it is just that i don't know how to get further and become better.
but, somehow when i tried to reflect myself today, i found nothing but the better me! Alhamdulillah. the one who always be confident with her strength, the one who loves to try new things without fear, the one who try to accept people as the way they are, the one who always try to do her best and push herself to the limits, the one who try to be patient whenever bad day happens, the one who try to cherish her friends in her own way, the one who always reflect back the day she had, and the most importantly, the one who always try to put her outmost faith in Allah. who try to believe with her whole heart. but, of course, there were times when things mentioned above was shattered into pieces and it really takes enormous iman for Allah to make it right back.
mtf results for block 3 exam just came out and i realised that my marks was still low, although it is still on par. i reflected my efforts and realised how much efforts i've been doing lately. like, how i've been pushing myself and tried my best. but still, the results is still same. and i felt nothing, but helpless. and these times, we will realise that there is much a high power above us controlling us and nothing can stop it. and He is Allah. the one who controls everything, the earth and the sky. and that is what i'm trying to believe. try to believe in His Plan, try to redha dengan segalanya. and when we try that, everything will be resorted like no predicaments happen. :)
honestly, i really have no idea what i am talking about, but this is what my heart feels right now. in the midst of thinking that everything is ok and i have no idea what should i do next; i try to see the ummah. and i realised that i have sooooo many things to do and my time is so short. Allah.
may Allah bless us with everything we do, and may we see Allah in the things that we do. after all, we just want to satisfy Him, not us, not them.
insyaAllah.
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